Everyone talks about Startup Success Stories or sometimes Startup Failure Stories. Does anyone talk about Startup Ex-CoFounder Story? 

Probably No. That's because they're looked upon as a personal failure. That they failed to stick to the company because they have personal problems. In reality, most of the times that's never the case. 

Why are we quick to think that those who leave a company are all failures? Why are those who exit asked  pointed questions as if they have made the biggest mistake of their life? 

I'm also an Ex-CoFounder myself and having brought up a community based startup that I was so passionate about - left it - the experience has been painfully heart-wrenching. Between making the decision to leave and beginning a new one; I have experienced a gamut of emotions. Why do I suddenly feel the need to share? Here's why.

Yesterday I went to a cafe whose owners I know extremely well. We were talking about an upcoming event and I was told that one of the cofounder had left. That brought me back to the day I had exited myself and the feelings I had locked within me wanted an escape. People assume a lot about CoFounder's exit without realizing how potentially catastrophic the decision is for the person who leaves. Let's see what reasons are given for break-up with myth-breaking explanations too:

1. Ex-CoFounder failed in vision - Says who?? Did all the CoFounders share the same vision? Did you (cofounders) meet and discuss your vision every 6 months (without any team member involved)? Did you? If no, then you can't blame anyone on basis of vision failure. All CoFounders must sit and share their vision periodically. 

2. The decision to exit was sudden - Not now, not even a hundred years would anyone sane enough leave their belief in an amazing idea and walk out in a huff. It is never so. Speaking about myself, it took me 3 months to come to the decision of saying No and exiting and let me tell you - it is intensely painful experience just like amputating your limb. It isn't easy so don't ever push where it hurts. 

3. The methods were different - Everyone has a different working style and a leadership style. Blending and complementing it is the key for any startup. If the CoFounders can't accept the working style/methods of others they ought to find a way to make it work. You can't brush off someone's method as wrong and assume yours is right. That's invitation for others to leave you.

4. The office is a problem -Those who are passionate about their idea never think about space. It never bothers them. CoFounder(s) don't leave because of the office. They leave because of people in it. 

5. Wants to be his/her own boss - Then why be a cofounder at all? That you all are cofounders in first place means that you knew that everyone would take a collective decision. If anyone didn't want to they would have never become a cofounder. Let me tell you, all entrepreneurs harp on the benefits of having cofounder, so it's actually rare that anyone would want to work solo and slog harder than before. 

6. Was not professional - Professionalism is a skill. No one is born with it. We learn it along the way. Its easy to put professionalism into everything  and start blame game. However, does anyone know what actually professionalism means? It means adhering to your vision and making it work in a very definitive manner. That according to me is professionalism. You might not agree with me. Now got the point?? Professionalism is subjective and has to be brought to the table for all cofounders to come to a common ground of what they expect from each other.

7. Communication not done properly - Communication if genuinely not done can be a right reason  for a cofounder's exit. However, there are many instances wherein I have noticed communication being cut off between cofounders leading to lot of discrepancy in the work. Sometimes, team favors one cofounder over other leading to more information flow to one person. If this happens that cofounder can do either of the two things - Share everything with the cofounder personally or redirect the team to keep both/all the cofounders in loop. 

8. He/She wasn't serious - Hell No! No one goes against family /society and starts something that they're passionate about and leave it. Nobody is fool. It's better to do a job rather than take the headache of a running a startup. The very idea of slogging hard and then exiting from something you have built with your blood and sweat is unthinkable. So no! Every cofounder is serious about what they want to achieve - the idea is to bring it all on a common platform and get everyone know what the other person is expecting out of the startup.

These and many more reasons are given for the cofounders' exit. I have experienced myself the heartbreak of exit and have seen a few cofounders around me too suffer the pangs of leaving. I wrote this article to give the people the insiders' viewpoint of the reasons why a CoFounder will not leave. The above 8 points (with the exception of points 1 and 7 in certain cases) cannot be the reason for the CoFounder to drop the idea like a hot potato. 

So be reasonable and don't judge. We have loved our idea/startup like our own baby - we are not trying to do anything bad. We exit because we can't bear to see our idea/startup going in the direction it wasn't intended to go. That's most often the real reason for saying No and leaving. We make such a huge decision, get depressed and have yo-yo emotions till we bounce back. It's punishing hard for us to not be part of what we envisioned. Our confidence takes a dip - more so if people repeatedly ask questions to us directly as to why we left. So despite whatever reasons the others give, cut some slack - Be Reasonable. Use your Head and Don't Judge. 

Don't exit from your dreams. 

As we all know... Life is never a smooth sailing affair. Why burn holes in your heart when you can trail blaze the world with your unique ideas and dreams? What you have in your mind, no one can take it from you. It's yours to keep. Have faith in your ideas and the steps you have already constructed to reach your goals. Yes, self confidence does take a beating. You begin to question yourself. 

Especially questions like, "Am I doing it right?" When I had these questions I met my friend Vinay Singhal, CoFounder of WittyFeed (World's second largest content startup) and his reply rings in my mind even today. "If you never had that question, take it from me that you never felt the need to do new things and reach new horizons. You're not passionate enough to think and not question your boundaries. So if you're having this question, it means you're on the right track". 

When I left my startup that I had built from the scratch, in few days I came up with Kaffeinated Konversations. At Kaffeinated Konversations, I'm building an intellectual community of people who love reading, writing, arts and culture in immersive ways. We are the first in India to host "Cultural Diversity for Dialogue and Development" event online. It was a thrilling experience for those who participated in it. Our signature events like Art Cove and Inscape under The Immersive Project  are being well received by people.

Now, I enjoy doing what I wanted to do. Yes, the pain is still there but I have moved on with the love of my family and well-wishers who have recognized my efforts and supported me. It will take time for me to be "successful" as they expect a startup to be but I'm taking it slow and enjoying the experience of it.