My startup is failing and I can't sleep or eat. How do I hold myself together while I decide whether to shut down?
The short answer
Separate your survival from the company's survival right now, because they feel fused and they are not. First, stabilize the body: force a sleep window, eat on a timer even without appetite, and tell one person the real numbers so you stop carrying it alone. Then give yourself a fixed decision date (say two weeks out) so the dread has an edge instead of being infinite. A dying company is a business event, not a verdict on you as a person, and most founders who shut down cleanly go on to raise or build again.
Go deeper, your way
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Why we picked it
Marqeta founder Jason Gardner describes, in his own words, being weeks from running out of cash while he 'struggled to sleep,' 'couldn't eat,' and lay on the floor staring at the ceiling. It is the exact scene in this question: a founder whose body is breaking down while the company hangs by a thread. It shows the acute-stress state is survivable and separable from the company's fate, and it does so without hustle-porn gloss.
The physical collapse (no sleep, no appetite, lying on the floor) is a known founder state during a near-death cash crisis, not a personal failing
Gardner kept the crisis from cratering him partly by having his wife in the room on the real numbers, which is the 'tell one person' move
Your survival and the company's survival are two different questions: he came out the other side as a person regardless of what happened to the business
Why we picked it
A clinical, free, no-signup stabilization guide that maps directly onto the answer: controlled breathing to break a panic spike, regular meals to keep blood sugar and mood stable, help getting to sleep, plus clear escalation (GP, 111, 999) if the dread turns dangerous. When you can't sleep or eat, you want a reputable source telling you the concrete moves, not a pep talk, and this is that.
Why we picked it
A CEO writing honestly about depression across a multi-year founder run, including the days he couldn't get out of bed, and landing on two moves this answer leans on: tell someone (build a real support person or coach, don't isolate) and hold the basics (sleep, whole food, movement). It is the reflective counterpart to the Forbes crisis scene: what holding yourself together actually looks like day to day.
